Get your life back - Give away your car and your TV

Give up T.V.

TV saps your life. It gives you nothing. You get to talk about soaps with your friends. A shared reference point. As if it were a significant event. As if it was real. Get a grip. Get a life. Get rid. How many times have you seen a big show advertised, only to find the eventual programme ultimately dissatisfying and banal? Lonely people use TV as company. I know. I got rid. Now I have to face reality. Sobering. And it makes me do something. Many people can’t face themselves. It’s impossible. They need distraction to take them some place else. Some person else. Some life else. We no longer know who we are because we have defined ourself by the sum of our consumption.

Granted, in my case there was the small matter of an imminent TV Licence Inspector turning up and me not having the money for the TV licence, never mind the fine. But you know what? I hadn’t watched TV in God knows how long. It gives you nothing. It takes the only thing of any value in your life. Your time. Get rid and get clean.

Give up your car (if you live in a major city with reasonable transport infrastructure)

You don’t need your own transport. Mums with kids go on buses all the time. So can you. Your life will not fall apart. Read my Carlos post to see what you will actually be giving up.

Cycle

Take a car off the road and get on a bicycle. 50% of all journeys in London are less than a mile. 87% are less than 5 miles. On average, all of these journeys would be quicker on a bicycle. You will save money, improve your health, take a car off the road, reduce stress, prolong your lifespan (if you don’t get killed riding), improve traffic flow, make the roads safer, reduce pollution and be less stressed and depressed. If you have time, walk. If not, cycle.

Yeah, I know, some of these things were kind of forced on me. But let’s look at this carefully. I created the conditions that forced what I was always thinking was right onto me.

Other stuff you and I must do to get our lives back:

• Stop going to supermarkets
• Stop listening to crap music
• Stop voting Labour
• Stop giving Sky money
• Stop buying contract mobile phones
• Destroy your credit cards. Don’t ever get into debt. Spend what you have and no more. Ever. (Mortgage is the only exception)
• Meet friends and family often. Tell them you love them often. Remind them how wonderful they are often.
• Stop reading newspapers. Trust me, you’ll be less frightened and the world won’t change. You will.
• Cut down on meat. Those are animals you’re eating. Eat them less often. Much less often.
• Support your local shops. Cut down on travel. Tesco is not cheap. That’s a myth. Go buy fruit and veg from a market. A farmer’s market if you’re loaded. £5 will get you more than a carrier bag full of fruit from a market. It buys you a couple of fucked apples and a fake mango from Tesco. Fuck them. They’ve been fucking you. Tighten your sphincter and reclaim your anal integrity
• Do what my friend Geoff does. Go for long walks. Go with friends. Go with family. Go alone. Just go. It really is the safest, easiest and best exercise you can get.
• Get rid of the dishwasher. Wash your own dishes. Save the environment. Stop wasting money on these stupid pieces of junk

Sermon over.