Some friends are bewildered. They want to know how things could be so good, and then become so bad? How can someone on six figures, an outwardly stable family life and no drink or drugs problem descend to no income, no home blah blah etc etc
It can happen to anyone. This is the moral. It can happen to anyone. Stability is an illusion. There is no stability. We are all on the precipice. It’s up to us how we handle the fall. Some disguise it. Others run from it. I am embracing it. The alternative is to sink further, as I’ve said before, the only rock bottom is six feet under. I’m not interested in that. I’ve found depression to be a poor lifestyle choice, so I’ve decided not to succumb to that, though I admit to the odd dark moment or three.
Anyone can lose their job. Anyone can lose their family. Anyone can lose their home. It happens to many fathers, and many others. (No, I didn’t drop an ‘m’ there, though I have dropped an ‘M’ in another sense)
The question is, do you accept this as your lot? Do you say that a temporary condition is permanent? Just because you share some similarities with a bum, does that make you one? Of course not. That would fly in the face of everything I have taught my children. Their mother calls them “stupid”, “moron”, “dumb” and “idiot”. I’ve taught them that they are talented, creative, beautiful, clever and resourceful. I’ve also taught them that the behaviour is not the person. So why would I now go against all that I’ve taught them and allow myself to think I’ve become a “bum”? I only become a bum when my thinking patterns lead me to a persistent bum state. I have very high hopes for the future. I am grateul for learning many lessons.
I’m more tolerant of the cold. I’ve come into contact with more of humanity. I’ve lessened my dependence on caffeine, and the Internet. I realise that I have to do something every single day to move towards my goals. Standing still is simply not an option. My dearest friend told me in no uncertain terms that losing focus was not an option. That I simply do not have the time, the luxury, or even the right to lose myself in negatively thinking about the situation I have found myself in. It’s truth.
Another dear friend has warned me of mists and martyrdom. Wise advice. I am not allowing a day to pass when I am not learning, or progressing in some way. The way I see it is that if I was a football manager, and I have a poor team, and we are 1-0 down at half-time, there is still a half to go and anything can happen. If I resign myself to defeat, I might as well not come out for the second half.
Nobody gave Liverpool a chance of even progressing past the group stages in the Champions League. And here they are again, with an average team, sitting at the table of the greats, 90 minutes away from being crowned the kings of Europe.
I have had more than my fair share of success in life, Alhamolilah. And I will have it again. I have tended in the past to write off my prospects of living past 40. Now I have to change my thinking in that regard too. I must believe that I am at half-time and only 1-0 down, with everything to play for.
Bring on the second half.
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