Catch the Last Post

This is likely to be my last post for a few weeks as I am going to be without the Internet.

On Tuesday night, my daughters’ mother asked me if I could take some time off work to collect my eldest from school. I happily agreed.

On Wednesday, I left work early thanks to a considerate boss and picked up my eldest. We had a quick bite to eat at Pret, then went on the tube to pick up my youngest. A bonus. I had only been asked to pick up my eldest, but was delighted to pick them both up.

I asked my eldest if she preferred bus or tube. She didn’t hesitate - tube is much more exciting for a kid who’s used to buses and the legions of scum you normally get there. Then she faltered “but you’ll have to pay”. I re-assured her that it didn’t matter. She is so considerate and very money conscious now. I guess being poor for a while did us all no harm whatsoever.

My youngest was delighted to see me. She ran the length of the playground with the broadest smile to jump into my arms and be swung around. She loves me so much. I asked my eldest if she was just a tiny bit jealous. Her response was the considered sneer and guffaw of a teenager who is above such childish extravagance. That or she inherited my finely honed sense of nonchalant cynicism. She agreed that it was probably the latter.

I took them to meet their mum - on the bus - and dropped them off. Their mum complained that she had only been horrible to the kids on the Saturday drop-off because her purse had been stolen. Again. So I gave her £60 and smiled - I warned her that it would be difficult for me to see the kids on Friday evening or the first half of Saturday, so could we switch to Sunday? She was fine with that.

Today I got a text in the evening letting me know that I could have them either Friday night or Saturday morning, but not the balance of Saturday or any of Sunday, because they had pre-existing plans.

This is the kind of stuff my children have to put up with - and I have to put up with.

A reminder - they want to spend more time with me - and they feel disconsolate that nobody can make this happen. My youngest now really misses me and wants to spend more time with me. Every time she is with me, she is counting down the hours and mourning the passing of each one.

All I can do is keep filling them with thoughts of my love for them at every opportunity.

It is seldom enough.