100% Muslim, 100% Londoner. Deal with it.
From the monthly archives:
You’ve read everything ever written on how to boost your productivity. Well, sometimes, you know you are getting rogered, and what it boils down to is getting through the tedium of the day with the least amount of energy expended, so that you can at least survive until the next day and feel semi-conscious at the office.
Here is a brief exchange between me and a dear friend today, who was suffering from a severe case of Syndrome C-B-A. (Can’t-Be-Arsed)
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Someone please correct me if I’m barking up the wrong tree here, but all this Web 2.0 malarkey (I’ll explain later if you don’t know what the hell I’m talking about) is a bit of a con. A saucy tart from afar, but an old lady with black teeth up close.
Why?
I have been very excited about it. There are some great candidates for Web 2.0 App Of The Day, like:
And many, many others. I have been toying with the idea of knocking something up in this new-fangled technology and in my quest for knowledge, I have quickly determined that the foundation of all of this business is something that Larry Ellison told us would hapeen over a decade ago.
That’s right. Network Computing. Or to put it even more simply, and to go back even further than Ellison - the Client/Server model, most faithfully epitomised by Unix and the X Window system, something I used to mock almost two decades ago, but whose time, in the form of a faithful browser and the XhtmlRequestWhatsit command, has surely come.
David, tell me I’m wrong, please?
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I don’t often plug other sites. Especially when they’re not entirely serious. Some things are just so funny, so ridiculous, so made for the web, that the utmost respect in the form of a link is due. Respect and salutations then, to Pimp My Snack
While you’re there, check out the Emperor Penguin. I gotta have me one of those!
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There is a trouble-maker relaying my posts to my ex. Good. You deserve exactly what you have got in your life and I hope you enjoy the hell that is your mind. I hope you enjoy the fact that your stirring is what causes the prolonged suffering of my children. Your job was to help when things were bad. You decided to make things worse. You will get what’s coming to you.
Things were going fine between me and my ex for the last two months. And soon, I will reveal what happened, why it happened, who made it happen and what the stirrer has attempted to ruin.
As for my ex - well - she can continue to destroy my children, but they will grow up soon and she will realise just what she has done to them.
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Too much bad stuff, eh?
I’ve been mega-stressed lately, and I think it’s beecause I packed in cigarettes, started exercising and cut out sugar and fat from my diet whilst switching to an early-morning start and frequent meals created with a combination of natural protein and low-glycaemic-index fibrous carbohydrates. That and not having any cash and being strapped to the rat-race-treadmill.
There is some good stuff.
My flat is wonderful, alhamdolilah. My kids love me and we have fun when we get together. My youngest tells me (and her mum, who can scarcely believe her ears) that she wants to spend half her time with me.
My fiancée and I will be married soon, insha’Allah.
My sister is a rock, my brother and I are tight and my friends are wonderful.
The sun shines more often and I try to be nice to as many people as I can. Today I told a kid to take his feet off a bus seat very politely - to my amazement, he responded immediately without resorting to the use of a bladed weapon. You have to realise that this was in Kensal Rise, thus my surprise. I also helped a lady with an enormously heavy shopping trolley get on and off a bus, whilst repairing the wheel that kept coming off both times.
I taught my youngest to play chess and she beat me first time (sure, I relaxed and let her take my queen, but she still figured out the check-mate move all on her own!). I helped my eldest with her religious education homework, teaching her about the glorious thousand years of Islam - she learned just how much the West has relied on Islam. Most people just don’t know. Perhaps if I mention coffee, crop rotation and plastic surgery for starters…
I am enjoying shisha and finding the smell of cigarettes repulsive again. Interesting. So where am I going with this IKEA boy?
I don’t know, but it doesn’t matter. I just try to be better, do better, as often as possible and I teach my children the same. I refuse to give in to pessimism and negativity and I teach my children the same.
There is a lot of good stuff. There really is.
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