Life’s What You Make It. Right?

We raced around Manchester Square on my BMX bike. At 6′4″, he utterly dwarfed it. After a few practice runs, he utterly battered my time. He wondered, back in the late 1980s, why he hadn’t bought a bicycle. It was utterly insane of course - and completely thrilling to be diving in and out of the flow of traffic whilst circumnavigating the square on a single speed pushbike with no lights in the middle of the night.

He introduced me to music that has woven itself into my skin and feels like it was always a part of me. And he still finds stuff for me to listen to!

He is the only person who has sent or given both my daughters a birthday card every single year of their sweet lives. The only person. Including the parents!

Regulars will know how often I have moved. He has always been there, breaking his back carrying obscene amounts of my shit up and down stairs and in and out of storage units. Not a solitary moan, ever.

Whenever I have needed help, of any kind, and even when I haven’t, he has been there, helpful whether I asked him or not.

Back in the summer of 1982 or was it 1983 and what does it matter anyway - he gave me a colour leaflet for the ZX Spectrum. I was utterly smitten. I believe one of my earlier blogs mentions this defining moment in my life. Before then, I didn’t really know Geoff and I have to say, before 1982, I didn’t like him much either. Then it all changed. I found a solid, dependable friend who has been utterly supportive, totally loyal and ever true.

Geoff always speaks the truth, whether it hurts or not. He doesn’t like liars, and he doesn’t like falsehood. An utterly principle-driven man, I have never known anyone with as much resolve to live by his own standards, no matter how hard.

Geoff would be the first to say he has an unconventional life. Fuck convention. Convention never gave me great friends. My greatest, most loyal friends, the ones who have stuck with me through hell, high water and divorce, are unconventional. I speak of Jason, David, Geoff, Mansoor and the like. There are many more. I am just mentioning a few who live by their own standards. (There are more of course and I respect their privacy - and I have some new friends who are utterly awesome too)

Of all of them though, none is more focussed on accuracy and truth than Geoff. Laser-like, when speaking with him, you must be precise. He will not let you get away with b.s. Though he has been incredibly lenient with me. How he tolerates me I will never know.

We always have a joke, Geoff and I - based on a The The lyric - every birthday - except this one for both of us - it’s been a case of:

I’m hiding in the corner
Of an overgrown garden
Covering my body in leaves
And trying not to breathe
All my childhood dreams…
Are bursting at the seams…
And dangling around my knees

I’ve been deformed by emotional scars
And the cancer of love has eaten out my heart
I’ve been stripped bare and nobody cares
And all the people I looked up to are no longer there

All desires have been denied to put me in this state of mind
Another year older and what have I done?
My aspirations have shrivelled in the sun!
I’m crippled by guilt
Blinded by science
I’ve been waiting for tomorrow for all of my life

Naturally, the bold section gets emphasis and we have stripped it down to the point where the opening drumbeat (distinctive for being in 6/8 time while Matt Johnson sings in a carefree 4/4 over the top) is enough. Like all long-term friends (well over two decades Geoff) - we have our own codes that nobody understands.

Geoff was there when I got married. Geoff was there when I got divorced.
Geoff was there when I sold my first video game. And Geoff has been there for all the years I have refused to accept that I have sold my last.
Geoff has known about all my hopes and dreams.
Geoff has been a patient echo of my past desires, reminding me that there are embers still smouldering, waiting for me to muster up the will to fan them again.
Geoff has never, ever, ever let me down.
And Geoff has lifted me when I have fallen down, often without realising, at other times with sheer positivity when he has had none for himself.

By the way, if you ever need your PC sorting in any way whatsoever, there is no better man on the planet than Geoff to do it. Geoff and I built my daughters first and second PCs together. I used to know a lot about PCs. Geoff’s knowledge of them surpassed mine many, many years ago and now I rely on him!

There are a million other things I could write about him, but I will end with just this:

Your aspirations might have shrivelled in the sun (so far), but your dignity, your friendship, your value, your worth, your kindness, your support have not. These things are meaningful. These things have value. These things are your humanity. These things make you one of the most brilliant people it has been my life’s pleasure and fortune to know. These attributes of yours have never wavered and my children and I think you’re absolutely brilliant.

Happy 40th Birthday Geoff, my dear, dear friend. I know you don’t believe in God, but may He bless you. Even now!