I’m a Muslim, I Won’t Eat Pork

With apologies to Sting for what I’ve done to the wonderful “Englishman in New York”, here’s my irreverent version:

I don’t take whisky I take Pepsi dear
I like my women when they hide
And you can hear it in my accent when I talk
I’m a Muslim, I won’t eat pork

See me flying down fifth avenue
A boxcutter by my side
I take it everywhere I walk
I’m a Muslim, I won’t eat pork

(Chorus)
I’m Arabian, I’m a real Arabian
I’m a Muslim, I won’t eat pork (whoa-oh!)
I’m Arabian, I’m a real Arabian
And you still think I trashed New York

If whiteness maketh man as someone said
Then he’s the fascist of the day
It takes a paki to hear ignorance and smile
Be Muslim – no matter what they say! (Whoa-oh!)

(Chorus)
I’m Arabian, I’m a real Arabian
I’m a Muslim, I won’t eat pork (whoa-oh!)
I’m Arabian, I’m a real Arabian
There were no planes that trashed New York

(Bridge)
Brown skin in society, can lead to notoriety
You could end up as the only one
Bush’s impropriety, fucked up your society
A US missile scorched the Pentagon!

Takes more than combat gear to make a man
Takes more than a mandate for a war
You lied to the world you Christofascist cunts
And you turned my nation into your own whore

If whiteness maketh man as someone said
Then he’s the fascist of the day
It takes a paki to face prejudice and smile
Be Muslim – no matter what they say! (Whoa-oh!)

(Chorus)
I’m Arabian, I’m a real Arabian
I’m a Muslim, I won’t eat pork (whoa-oh!)
I’m Arabian, I’m a real Arabian
There were no planes that trashed New York