My apologies to my regular readers for the dearth of output in recent times.
Some updates are in order:
My health is so-so, but it has been a lot worse.
I am enjoying my job, my working environment is excellent, my boss is supportive and my colleagues truly lovely people. I am enjoying the business again and taking pleasure also in playing video games; my most loyal readers will be surprised at this. My most reason poison has been Super Stardust HD, but I’m looking forward to playing Bioshock too.
Being (a limited) part of PLAYSTATION®3 has been an unexpected joy. When I started this job at Sony back in December 2005, I thought it would be a stop-gap, as it was quite a step down from START! games and even the web consulting, (though a huge step-up from unemployment!) but it has been a source of ever greater satisfaction. That can only be a good thing, can’t it? As my former boss remarked recently – during my illness Sony has been a calm port in a storm.
I am planning on doing some more videos on the Qadianis, but as they are going to be more ambitious, I can’t just knock them out as I did before. The American top brass Qadiani, Dr. Nasim Rehmatullah, has still not replied to any of my queries on why they filed DMCA takedown notices and then chickened out after I counter-filed. I note that certain Qadianis are continuing with either vileness, hatred or libel. I’m leaving them to it. For now. Their disgusting behaviour continues to underline their spiritual bankruptcy.
Summer holidays are almost over and I have scarcely been allowed any time with my kids, and even phone time has been severely restricted. I find this painful, of course, but no longer unbearable. It’s amazing what the human spirit can withstand and I’m fairly certain I could take a hell of a lot more. Let’s hope not though.
In whatever spare time I have had recently, I have been getting to grips with Ruby on Rails, having introduced myself to it a couple of years ago after evangelising the 37signals stuff on this very blog. It took ages to get it working on the server I work with, I had to jump through several hoops to finally get a response. I also managed to get it set up on my Mac, which seems to be the perfect development environment for it. Indeed, the RoR team all use the Mac with TextMate, the latter being my editor of choice too.
I have of course had moral and practical support from a couple of friends, without whom I would have eventually got to where I am now, but without my sanity.
I am rediscovering my zest for life again. I had rather taken computing and my earlier aptitude and ability for it, for granted, letting my talent fizzle away whilst my personal life was going through its Perfect Storm. Now I am excited again. By languages, by hosting, by servers, by the Internet, by Open Source, by programming, by hacking (in the proper sense of the word) and by all things computing. I’m excited by media, by film-making, by editing, by communication, by databases, by photography, by life. It feels good, despite my health not quite keeping up just yet. I feel that this zest and passion, the thing that has been missing for so long, is what will drag my health kicking and screaming into some kind of order, insha’Allah.
I am also not letting myself get too angry at things. Sure, the world is still fucked, but I ignore the papers, I don’t watch the news, I mute the telly when the ads come on and I look at cunts like Ann Coulter and Michelle Malkin and don’t even get too annoyed. After all, why give them the energy?
Of course, I am still trying to improve as a Muslim. I really tried to drop the ‘c’ word from the above paragraph, but it sits so well and it’s the only swear-word in the whole post, which might just get me a 15 rating.
You know what has helped? Realising that a lot of people, mostly colleagues and some blogmates actually, are wise to propaganda and what the media and the state apparatus is trying to do. Whilst not necessarily getting the whole picture, which is not to suggest that I do, far from it, they do at least know that they are being lied to. And that is always a very good start.
So this shift in attitude might mean a shift in posting style. I am tired about being angry with injustice. It saps my energy and gives it to the problem, rather than defusing it. I am grimly aware that no adult should believe as a child does, that when she covers her face with a pillow, the monster will no longer see her. I’m sure the monsters are still there, that the Bankers, Zionists and Crusaders are still at it with their imperialism and oppression and tyranny and murder and looting and slavery, but in all honesty, as long as I’m aware, why drown myself in it? What good can possibly come from it?I have been using blogging as a tool to spread misery to others. That’s what it boils down to. It wasn’t always this way. I would like to get back to stuff that doesn’t fill people with hurt and anguish and anger. Not all the time anyway. We must stand against oppression, but there are other ways of doing that.
Perhaps I’ll come up with some kind of Web thing that facilitates the viral distribution of happiness.
{ 13 comments }
“I mute the telly when the ads come on” – Ditto.
And not just becasue they increase the volume when the ads come on.
Straw poll….: Any others?
Suspect, please dont stop writing about the injustice. Very voice against it counts and it must be exposed and fought.
Oh I won’t, don’t worry, I’m just planning on turning down the volume a bit and balancing it out with positivity a bit. My blog makes me sound angrier than I am. I just want to fix that.
Negativity can be very debilitating. On top of that, laughing in the face of bastards usually turns out to be what they hate the very most anyway. They want to get you down. They want you to lash out. These are the kind of responses they’re most familiar dealing with
I’ve just returned from a couple of weeks in the countryside picking fruit from trees, looking at the stars, eating decent food and cliched stuff like that. But, you know what, the world really does have a lot going for it and it’s a top idea to consciously reconnect with the good stuff every now and again
Go for it
Stef
Thanks Stef! Got any tips on how to improve my photography? I plan on doing a lot more now.
Best photography tip ever!!
“If your pictures aren’t good enough, you’re not close enough.”
Spoken by Robert Capa, a very famous war photographer until he stood on a land mine in Indochina
So, get close but not too close…
Ditch the zoom and buy a macro?
No need to get that close – just try using your feet instead of the zoom and be part of what you’re photographing
The lens I have on my camera is 18-55mm – shall I leave the 55-200mm at home?
Sorry to break into the photography session here but Stef about the starry nights and fruit picking, that is a beautiful world but it’s a world were increasingly not allowed to live in, and the Zen like experience isn’t even a remote possibility for Millions.
A good friend of mine, a German Christian just to give you a handle on him, told me that the people in Cambodia didn’t smile. The whole people! And this isn’t a guy to toss out spandex descriptions. When I watched Pilgers “Year Zero”, I knew why.
Were all heading for year zero. I want the world to pick fruit and gaze at the stars to live happy, secure and meaningful lives. I find it almost impossible to laugh at the -expletive-’s They’ve hollowed me out long ago.
@shahid – yes
@lwtc247
I spent some time thinking this stuff through when I lost one of my parents a few months ago. When someone close to you dies there’s a natural tendency to feel guilty – guilty about outliving them and continuing to enjoy life, guilty at the thought of the things you could have done whilst they were still alive. But that sense of guilt doesn’t bring them back and it’s perfectly possible to get on with enjoying life and still remember and have respect for the person you have lost
It really is a good idea to take some time out occasionally and remind yourself of what life should be all about
…if you are fortunate enough to be able to
…and without showing any lack of empathy with those who can’t
As for the laughter thing…
My take is that the bastards we are talking about thrive on negativity, anger and violence. They pump debilitating propaganda into people’s brains 24/7 and have lots of tanks and guns. They want anyone who opposes them to tackle them on this kind of terrain
What they are not comfortable with is the prospect of people educating themselves, engaging in acts of civil disobedience and, yes, laughing in the face of their oppressors
because if you’re laughing you’re saying ‘I’m not scared you’ – and if enough people do that the spell is broken
Hello, I happened upon your site today by accident, having read many of your posts I began to find myself agreeing with you to some extent. The occupation of Palestine, the heavy handed brutal repression of its people, the American indifference, even complicity, the bias media coverage all cause me grief.
Perhaps I ought to explain, I am a Scotsman and Christian, although I must confess to being a bad Christian in as much as I struggle to believe some of the crap in the bible (OK, most of the crap in the bible).
Maybe I ought to better describe myself as agnostic, I believe in god, the Supreme Being, creator to the universe and all that is in it. Whether you call him Allah, God, Jesus or Davy Thomson is irrelevant to me. I pray, not as the Catholics do, by third party, I pray to god the almighty; my conversations are intimate and personal. I think organised religion is the doctrine of man, made to suppress and control other men.
God lives in our heart; he whispers to us what is right and what is wrong. I don?t believe we need other people to tell us what god requires of us, BUT…. I do believe in every person?s right to exercise their relationship with god as they see fit!
Christian, Hindu, Muslim, sheik whatever, it is not important, you see god will decide, not the priest, how DARE they presume to speak for god! If hell exists you can be sure it?s filled with the bead counting, ring kissing Mary worshipping idolaters of the priesthood!
Anyway, my point is, whilst I obviously have personal issues with the Catholic faith, I have family and many close friends for whom their faith is a rock; it gives them comfort, inspiration, hope. Who am I to interfere with that?
Now, without wishing to be beheaded (intentional antagonism) and without being disrespectful to any religion, my experience of the Christian perspective at this time in the UK, is this; the vast majority of people in this country fear Muslims because, you are portrayed as being intolerant of others in their faith, the Quran is littered with references to the nasty fate you would have befall all who do not bow to Islam and accept Allah as their one true god.
Please, I really am not trying to be antagonistic here, but let?s assume there was mass migration of British Christians to Pakistan, would you be happy if they tried to impose Christianity on the populous? Now for the money question, is this a false portrayal or a genuine one?
You see that?s what it all boils down to; no people can ever live in harmony without accepting and respecting the spirituality and dignity of each other.
?I might disagree with what you say, but I shall fight to the death for your right to say it? ? Voltaire. Most of us would agree with this sentiment; however our perspective of Islam is one where, people are threatened with being beheaded because they printed some caricatures of the prophet Mohamed (peace be upon him).
I have perhaps upset some readers here, if so, my apologies, but there is an obligation on me, if we are to have TRUTHFULL discourse to speak honestly, judging by church attendances in the UK, I would say that most people share my perspective and if, by sharing that with you, we can improve our understanding and acceptance of each other, perhaps a little bit of good might come of it.
Brian, thank you so much for visiting and reading and for your thoughtful and considerate post.
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