January 2008

Don’t worry about the evolution thing. I’m not really convinced that I’m right. I’m just questioning it. I wish I’d studied more. I’m reading Dawkins at the moment. I just wish he’d read some of the disgusting hatred being vented on his forum. Maybe he does.

My good friend and writer of the wonderful Minority Report blog went to America oh, a few decades back and came back with the memory of a car bumper sticker that read “Subvert the Dominant Paradigm”. Genius. It took me until Islamophobia in the West assumed the rhetorical position of Nazism before I finally began to understand its full meaning.

I don’t usually like to chuck away dominant paradigms. One of them is the paradigm of an unshifting ground beneath your moving body. It’s kind of helpful to go about one’s daily life knowing that when you plant your next footfall, you will not end up spiralling through space or falling to the earth’s core.

A more obvious example would be the idea that what goes up, must come down. Assuming of course that whatever it is doesn’t exceed the escape velocity of the earth’s gravitational field of about 25,000 mph (you can tell I remembered that and didn’t have to google it - I’m using imperial measurements). And what goes down, usually goes down pretty quickly and depending on the height it starts from, breaks. It’s what stops most people stepping off the top of buildings to avoid having to take the stairs. Combine that with the first paradigm and you have the ability to walk to your nearest bus stop without questioning the world around you with every step.

A less sensible paradigm is that all Muslims are terrorists. Let’s face it. I’ve just strengthened that bond, just by juxtaposing those two words, haven’t I? I mean, don’t most people now think “terrorist” first, when they hear Muslim, even if they don’t actually feel that way? It’s a lousy paradigm and one which after just a little pondering, proves itself to be a construct of media hype and government agendas.

A more controversial paradigm, but one which is most strongly associated with extremists is evolution. Extremists like Dawkins for example. I think evolution is broken. I’ve tried to understand it, but it makes absolutely no sense to me whatsoever.

Evolution doesn’t explain how life started.

Evolution doesn’t explain how incredibly complex systems came to be after a series of incremental, random mutations in genetic code. I remember reading an explanation by Dawkins of how an eye could evolve in stages. It all made sense until you worked out the odds.

It’s like saying that enough earthquakes would eventually create magnificent architecture or more accurately, that an earthquake would introduce a positive genetic enhancement to the Sydney Opera House.

It’s like saying that flying enough aeroplanes into enough buildings would eventually cause buildings to strengthen against such attacks by themselves.

It doesn’t explain how fish came to the land. Assuming that we have finally rejected Lamarckian dogma for the twaddle that it was, then organisms cannot know what will be a useful mutation and should not be able to pre-adapt so that their organs are already fully formed before they leave their old, watery environment to make their home on dry land.

Even natural selection doesn’t always mean “survival of the fittest”, otherwise you wouldn’t get animals protecting the weak amongst their own.

How did they know they were meant to be almost 50% as strong again to withstand gravity? How did their gills become lungs? How did their fins, disconnected from their spines in the case of the closest possible match, become connected to their spines and form new bones to become feet? How did the open excretion systems turn into complete kidneys, miracles unto themselves? How did their skin adapt to cope with ultraviolet rays? And why didn’t the alleged transitional forms die out as interim models, with partly formed organs as not optimal for sea or land? And how did the mutations, hundreds and thousands of them, all happen in a single lifetime?

Bollocks.

Someone explain why the fossil record shows not a single transitional form, despite us now having gazillions of fossils to study from all over the world.

Someone explain why evolutionists and paleontologists come up with so many fakes in order to posit a missing link and always fail? Why so much fraud in the name of science?

Someone explain why the fossil record shows species appearing as if fully formed, without any predecessor forms?

Someone explain the Cambrian Explosion!

Someone explain why the “tree of evolution” is almost upside down, with no intermediate forms alive today and with the current forms unchanged in some cases for millions upon millions of years.

Someone explain why despite repeated experimentation on drosophila, not a single useful mutation has ever been observed?

Someone explain why every time a species has any kind of mutation, it is always to its detriment?

Someone explain why so many evolutionists are fundamentally dogmatic and extreme by nature.

Look, I’m no scientist, I posit no alternative and my current scepticism is in no way related to my religion. I’m also definitely not in the same boat as guys like this. Evolution is scientific, clearly, lots of clever people buy into it, but they haven’t communicated it very well.

I would just like a scientist to show me where I’m going wrong. Nicely. Without doing a Dawkins on me and my religion. When I see Islamophobic frauds like Aayan Hirsi Ali selling their books on Dawkins’ home page, I kind of wonder about the agenda, you know? Lying cow!

The same fuckers that call Islam a religion of terror are eager to back the random idea of evolution with missionary zeal. That makes me suspicious.

Subvert the dominant paradigm!

Martin Amis - you’ll never be as good a writer as your dad was.

I gasped at the audacity of the Ahmadiyya’s pitiful “cry-wolf” organ repeating a story from the Bangladeshi Daily Star about an Ahmadi family in Bangladesh being “harrassed”.

Looking at the actual picture, the “persecution” that this family received was ostracism and boycott from the mainstream Muslim community.? Not exactly the end of the world then. No beatings, no house burnings, no murders. Just ostracism and a boycott.

Not nice, but let’s consider this. I watched a programme this evening where the brothers of a teenage mum had their faces beaten to a pulp by thugs, just for being their brothers. Now that’s ostracism to the max. Only, I didn’t see them make a fuss, or start putting up web sites about it.

Still, ostracism and boycott, whilst not exactly life threatening, can be “painful”.

Which brings me to the point. The Ahmadis routinely boycott Ahmadi families for:

• Allowing their daughters to marry a Muslim
• Listening to music at a wedding
• Asking routine questions about their faith
• Not paying the 6.25% tax

The families in question have to write begging letters for weeks, sometimes months and even years to the current Mirza Cult Leader of the day, seeking pardon. In the meantime, the community shuns the family and sometimes individuals and they are left in limbo, neither accepted by the Ahmadis, nor by the Muslims (unless they renounce the cult, which very few brave people do).

This practice started in earnest with the arrival of the Cult’s True Master, Mirza Mahmud, son of Mirza Ghulam Ahmad. This man was responsible for setting up the cult apparatus in the image of the Papacy in Rome. A horrific example can be found in the murder of Fakhrudin Multani. This poor man was a companion of Mirza, a true believer. He left his home and settled in Qadian, to be with his master. He was then treated like a modern day paedophile in a northern town and ultimately murdered.

His murderer was hanged by the government, but buried with full honours by the Ahmadiyya. This is an old story. The newer ones, while often not as violent, are just as painful and the reasons often more petty. This happens while rapists connected to the Mirza family are given enormous financial support and while the cult keeps grabbing land for no reason other than to satisfy the greed of the leadership.

Nobody condones murder or persecution. I’m not backing any of that kind of nonsense here. I used to be one of them - how could I possibly condone violence against them? I am just of the firm opinion however, that the persecution of Ahmadis is the most overplayed card in the history of all fitnas to affect the Muslim Ummah. If it’s persecution you want to see, look at Palestine. Look at Chechnya. Look at Bosnia. Look at Iraq. Look at Afghanistan. Then shut the fuck up already.

It would behove the Ahmadiyya to stop bleating on about “persecution” when its own house is in disarray. When the Ahmadiyya stops boycotting and ostracising its own for allowing their daughters to marry Muslims, then they should feel free to put out pathetic press releases about a family practising a cult that is anathema to Muslims getting cold-shouldered.

It certainly looks like the end of the road for the Ahmadiyya.

In Indonesia, as in the rest of the Muslim world, the Ahmadiyya are not just considered a heretical sect by Muslims, but a treacherous one. By regularly denouncing Muslims as terrorists (but never overtly of course) they align themselves with those who despise Islam. By professing victim-hood despite claiming ownership to “The True Islam” and thereby expelling all Muslims from the Ummah in so doing, they come across smelling a bit hypocritical.

They love censorship. Oh the irony! They make a lot of noise about having their literature banned in Bangladesh and their cult outlawed by the `ulama of Indonesia, but they are quick to clamp down on any dissident Ahmadi who tries to question the leadership. As for “apostates” from Qadianism, like me, well, the gloves are off.

Not only did they try and take my YouTube work down, ultimately unsuccessfully of course, but they also failed to respond when I tried to elicit a reason. Mostly of course, they censor Mirza Ghulam Ahmad’s work. Not surprising really, as this embarrassing man, who claimed to be more than just any old prophet, was fond of obscene epithets to describe his opponents when they repeatedly pointed out his fallacies and absurdities. So the Ahmadi top brass censor Mirza’s work by failing to provide English translations of his more obscene outbursts.

(Blasphemy after blasphemy they let slip through the net, quite brazenly. It is telling that they find it acceptable to blaspheme against Islam, but unacceptable to let people read about him calling his opponents “bastards” and “bitches”.)

The interesting thing is how most of the devotees suffer from cognitive dissonance. I should know. I was once one of them. Lying to yourself is the only way you can cope with the mental meltdown that results from trying to understand the ramblings and chicanery of a seriously doped-up charlatan.

Ahmadis deal with their cognitive dissonance with a standard bunch of retorts. Including:

• “Your references are wrong”. (No they’re not. I checked them out. Sometimes the Qadianis shift the page numbers in Mirza’s books - erm - that’s cheating!)
• “You’re quoting out of context” (On the odd occasion, yes, but most of his nasty output is nasty despite heavy contextualisation)
• “That’s not an authentic book” (Which is why I used only Ahmadi books in my YouTube videos, either bought from them, or downloaded, live, on video, from their web site)
• “The same accusations were made against Muhammad (pbuh)” (Actually, they weren’t. Nobody accused the Last Prophet (saw) of using foul language against anyone, or of taking drugs, ever - and more to the point - any accusations made were rejected in the Qur’an)
• “He’s not really claiming prophethood” (Err, read his books. Especially “The Removal of a Misunderstanding” and “Lecture Sialkot”)

I enjoyed exposing some of Mirza’s more blasphemous, but less abusive work last year on YouTube. It provoked a huge amount of interest and a backlash not just against me, but from the ordinary, innocent Ahmadi who has been kept in the dark, against the Qadiani leadership, who have no answers. Intellectually risible and shamefully vacuous, they are being exposed as nothing more than a cheap cult, existing only to extort money from their members and to serve their imperial masters.

I have learned that they send tins with the face of the latest Mirza on to children, poor or not, to fill the cult’s coffers. Charging a membership of 6.25% of all salaries after tax, and calling those who don’t subscribe to the “Get me into heaven” scheme at a minimum of 10% earnings and property “hypocrites”, the leadership deserves exposure to the truth, and ridicule and brickbats from those with understanding.

Now it appears that the foundations of the movement have been smashed as the Indonesian Ahmadiyya has publicly declared that Mirza Ghulam Ahmad was not a prophet after all, but just a teacher. This is interesting in the light of Mr. Mirza’s repeated proclamations of prophethood and the Ahmadiyya’s insistence that those who aren’t Ahmadis are in fact kaafirs (infidels/deniers) and outside the pale of Islam.

What kind of a religion categorically denies its own prophet in order to keep going as a headless chicken? Why, the completely nonsensical and utterly pointless Ahmadiyya of course. It has shot itself in the foot. It has lost the wind in its sails. It is lost at sea and listing.

This news will send shockwaves through the core of the movement and no doubt, there will be attempts to explain it away in the time-dishonoured fashion of Mirza, who routinely claimed victory despite being the victim of TKO after TKO against the most average maulvi of the time.

With this massive own goal (switching sports here) it looks like this is the beginning of the end of the Ahmadiyya. One can only hope that they will abandon the teachings of the deluded, opium-eating charlatan Mirza and rejoin the mainstream.

And as long as they reject Mirza completely, seeing as his beliefs are impossible to reconcile with mainstream Islam, they will of course, be welcome with open arms. Come back to the fold of Islam Ahmadis, we have a lot of work to do together. Insha’Allah.

Dear Palestine,

As-Salaamu `alaykum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakaatuhu.

I know your suffering is unimaginable. I know your pain is constant. I know your children are damaged.

I would like you to know something too.

We love you. You are in our prayers, at least five times day.

We pray for the rape and occupation of your land to end.

And insha’Allah, we know that your resistance to oppression and tyranny will succeed.

With love and respect,

The Ummah

If you have a couple of minutes and are vaguely interested, feel free to go and read my interview with The Pakistani Spectator.

Be warned, the picture is 5 years and 4 stones ago. My recent cigar/eye patch picture is more faithful to my current appearance.

I’m not sure if there’s something in the air or not, but after J7’s bold refusal of the Bullshit Broadcasting Corporation’s invitation to appear on the Conspiracy Files, the team behind the excellent Ludicrous Diversion are at it now.

This is all good stuff. I’m hoping that this marks the start of a trend where prominent writers, thinkers, bloggers and YouTubers start telling the Mainstream Media where to stick it.

Standards all round are definitely falling and barring some notable exceptions like Darshna Soni, and the quite amazing John Pilger, most modern journalists are shit.

I recently suffered some trauma to the reasoning centres in my brain after an episode of Channel 4’s execrable Dispatches. Now this is going to blow your mind, but I’m going to do something I never thought I’d do. I’m going to take the side of the supermarkets chains. Why?

You only had to watch how miserable the science was when the equally miserable Jane Moore pitifully tried to skewer some truly gullible families? into believing that they were eating crap and being lied to.

Sure, some of the calore and fat content was out by more than the tolerance level, but much of this was on minute quantities to which the stupid families offered the expected, uninformed soundbites, but Moore repeatedly failed to explain the very important fact that not all fats are equally damaging. You have polyunsaturated fatty acids, monounsaturated fatty acids and saturated fatty acids. These are normally abbreviated to “fats” instead of “fatty acids”

She also failed to explain the difference between fruit sugar (fructose) and table sugar (sucrose) which both act very differently. The former has a lower glycaemic index and is therefore more easily tolerated by the body.

Then she got a bunch of primary school children to pour some cereal in a rather bizarre experiment to determine a realistic portion size. Don’t parents pour cereal for their kids? I mean, if you’re dumbfuck enough to hand over a full box of sugar-coated Frosties to your 8-year old (probably the most lethal cereal on the face of the earth, provoking an insulin response that could kill an elephant) then you’re gonna get cereal on the table, on the floor and in the kid’s bloodstream! What kind of science was this?

Sure there’s acid in fruit juice. It’s called citric acid you dunderhead. And it only rots your teeth if you drink it all day long and never brush or drink anything else! If you’re stupid enough to stick it in a baby’s beaker, well, you’ll be glad that babies have milk teeth to practice on.

She resorted to a Gillian (shrill, sadistic, shrew fraud) McKeith style pile of fat, sugar and salt for varying size families (errrrrr duh!!!)? at the end of the experiment. I mean how stupid are these people? If you saved all your pocket change for a year you’d get a mountain of money. If you saved your newspapers for a year they’d be taller than a block of flats. If you collected your shit for a month it would look like a life-sized-model of George Bush. That’s why you don’t eat it all at once you stupid fuck!

I have rarely watched a programme that masqueraded as an expose and had to shout abuse at its poor science as I did for “The Truth About Your Food”. I actually felt sorry for the supermarkets. It’s not their job to put traffic lights on labels, it’s their job to make money. If the government gives a shit about health, it will enforce regulations that make sense for the consumer, but we all know the government only likes to take part in the game of consumer-buggery. Sometimes I actually yearn for the EU to step in and slap the Sainsbury-nobbing fucks in parliament.

If you’re really bothered about what you eat, bloody well make it yourself! That’s what we used to fucking well do!

In every area of importance, in every sphere of life that matters to ordinary people - and to extraordinary people - on any topic that matters to you, it would be unwise to trust the mainstream media. It doesn’t just stop there though. If you see a blogger start writing for a newspaper, it might be prudent to investigate their motive.

I’m very surprised to note that I have about 2GB of traffic on a monthly basis. That’s way, way more than I expected, especially given how quiet I have been lately.

I might have to do some digging…

Update: A few hundred megs have been gobbled up by various robots, with Yahoo and Google being the most voracious. A lot of traffic appears to have come from an Oriental site, music.soso.com, where for some reason, people are downloading three of my tunes at the rate of about 500 (total) every month.

The post which got the most hits recently was the one on Ahmadiyya Intellectual Cowardice and of course, lots of racists come searching for my kind from google. Try typing in “paki” in google, hitting enter, and seeing which related search terms it offers. I got the rather distressing “I hate pakis”. Thanks Britain!