January 2008

I’m not sure if there’s something in the air or not, but after J7’s bold refusal of the Bullshit Broadcasting Corporation’s invitation to appear on the Conspiracy Files, the team behind the excellent Ludicrous Diversion are at it now.

This is all good stuff. I’m hoping that this marks the start of a trend where prominent writers, thinkers, bloggers and YouTubers start telling the Mainstream Media where to stick it.

Standards all round are definitely falling and barring some notable exceptions like Darshna Soni, and the quite amazing John Pilger, most modern journalists are shit.

I recently suffered some trauma to the reasoning centres in my brain after an episode of Channel 4’s execrable Dispatches. Now this is going to blow your mind, but I’m going to do something I never thought I’d do. I’m going to take the side of the supermarkets chains. Why?

You only had to watch how miserable the science was when the equally miserable Jane Moore pitifully tried to skewer some truly gullible families? into believing that they were eating crap and being lied to.

Sure, some of the calore and fat content was out by more than the tolerance level, but much of this was on minute quantities to which the stupid families offered the expected, uninformed soundbites, but Moore repeatedly failed to explain the very important fact that not all fats are equally damaging. You have polyunsaturated fatty acids, monounsaturated fatty acids and saturated fatty acids. These are normally abbreviated to “fats” instead of “fatty acids”

She also failed to explain the difference between fruit sugar (fructose) and table sugar (sucrose) which both act very differently. The former has a lower glycaemic index and is therefore more easily tolerated by the body.

Then she got a bunch of primary school children to pour some cereal in a rather bizarre experiment to determine a realistic portion size. Don’t parents pour cereal for their kids? I mean, if you’re dumbfuck enough to hand over a full box of sugar-coated Frosties to your 8-year old (probably the most lethal cereal on the face of the earth, provoking an insulin response that could kill an elephant) then you’re gonna get cereal on the table, on the floor and in the kid’s bloodstream! What kind of science was this?

Sure there’s acid in fruit juice. It’s called citric acid you dunderhead. And it only rots your teeth if you drink it all day long and never brush or drink anything else! If you’re stupid enough to stick it in a baby’s beaker, well, you’ll be glad that babies have milk teeth to practice on.

She resorted to a Gillian (shrill, sadistic, shrew fraud) McKeith style pile of fat, sugar and salt for varying size families (errrrrr duh!!!)? at the end of the experiment. I mean how stupid are these people? If you saved all your pocket change for a year you’d get a mountain of money. If you saved your newspapers for a year they’d be taller than a block of flats. If you collected your shit for a month it would look like a life-sized-model of George Bush. That’s why you don’t eat it all at once you stupid fuck!

I have rarely watched a programme that masqueraded as an expose and had to shout abuse at its poor science as I did for “The Truth About Your Food”. I actually felt sorry for the supermarkets. It’s not their job to put traffic lights on labels, it’s their job to make money. If the government gives a shit about health, it will enforce regulations that make sense for the consumer, but we all know the government only likes to take part in the game of consumer-buggery. Sometimes I actually yearn for the EU to step in and slap the Sainsbury-nobbing fucks in parliament.

If you’re really bothered about what you eat, bloody well make it yourself! That’s what we used to fucking well do!

In every area of importance, in every sphere of life that matters to ordinary people - and to extraordinary people - on any topic that matters to you, it would be unwise to trust the mainstream media. It doesn’t just stop there though. If you see a blogger start writing for a newspaper, it might be prudent to investigate their motive.

I’m very surprised to note that I have about 2GB of traffic on a monthly basis. That’s way, way more than I expected, especially given how quiet I have been lately.

I might have to do some digging…

Update: A few hundred megs have been gobbled up by various robots, with Yahoo and Google being the most voracious. A lot of traffic appears to have come from an Oriental site, music.soso.com, where for some reason, people are downloading three of my tunes at the rate of about 500 (total) every month.

The post which got the most hits recently was the one on Ahmadiyya Intellectual Cowardice and of course, lots of racists come searching for my kind from google. Try typing in “paki” in google, hitting enter, and seeing which related search terms it offers. I got the rather distressing “I hate pakis”. Thanks Britain!

Breaking news:

US President George W Bush has said Israel must end occupation of Arab land taken in 1967 so that a viable Palestinian state can be created.

If this is true, and he applies pressure on Israel, financial pressure to back up his request, it would immediately make him the most popular president in recent times amongst Muslims. It sounds almost obscene, especially given his past performances and the obscenities committed in going to Iraq and destroying that once proud country, but to hear such a demand from the mouth of a US president is tantamount to a miracle.He is also talking about financial settlements instead of the right to return. Long a contentious issue, this might be the one on which long-suffering Palestinians have to sadly, cede more ground.I wait more news on this with baited breath. Could I even dare imagine this to be true?Update:The article has since been updated and now also adds from Bush:

These negotiations must ensure that Israel has secure recognised and defensible borders and they must ensure the state of Palestine is viable, contiguous, sovereign and independent.

The key word being “contiguous”. (I wonder if he even knows what that means)I don’t think he does, because sadly, this is also part of what’s on the table and in my book, is the goat poo in the milk pail:

He also said a peace agreement would require mutually agreed adjustments to the pre-1967 boundaries “to reflect current realities” - a reference to Israeli settlements in the occupied West Bank.

Those settlements need to be torn down. The problem is that Israel is building settlements in occupied territories and mounting raids on Gaza and killing children and oppressing a nation even while these talks go on.I will rein in my optimism for the meantime, but I will never give up hope.Update 2What I really want of course, is that which appears impossible at the moment: The establishment of a single state in pre-1948 Palestine and for all the refugees to be able to return.Update 3I’ve thought about this. Nothing has really changed. Palestinians are still getting screwed over and Bush and his Zionist cohorts in Israel are still a bunch of lying, murdering rapists. That’s my reasoned and considered opinion by the way.

I just had a quick look at my Blogger account. There were 144 comments stored up in there for moderation from the days when Blogger was the home of Suspect Paki. I’ll come back to those later.I also came across a blog I had started about my adventures in Second Life. The first entry, dated November 29th 2006 read as follows:

I’ve just entered an early prototype of The Matrix.I’m on a Mac.My first impressions were:Buggy, creepy, sad, uninspiring and yet, dangerously alluring.I’ll be back.

Of course, that was my last post on the matter and I never went back. I’ve deleted that blog now.Back to Suspect Paki… I haven’t a clue why comments are going to Blogger for moderation and not ending up here, but the torrent of abuse and hatred was pretty shocking. Of course, I get my fair share of nutters here and I summarily delete the more offensive ones. I thought I’d share some of the sentiment towards “pakis” and Muslims flying around recently, just for the month of July last year:

“oi paki bastard E.G. chuck berry! if it wasn’t for us white bastards you wouldn’t be in business you thick paki jappati slinging curry munching uphill gardening fuge packing cousin shaging sister fucking ass bandit. And if that isn’t enough then have this, you ‘cant’ fight one on one you need your cousin brothers to fight for you! when you lot are alone your quiet, but get you in a group and suddenly youre hard ‘like fuck’. you take piss outa your heratage and the older generation who came to our country to fight with us against threats to our country, and yet you assholes like to think your better than that yeah right, well i hope sooner or later all brittish white and black realise that you pakis are nothing but sewer rats with a disease like infestation on our young innocent girls, and we will rid our land of you once and for all, good ridance we dont want you and you’ll never be accepted.”

“? i loath pakis. some just moved in across the road. i’m gonna move. they shouln’t even be touching my soil”

“they might not speak for you do gooda cunt - but i know lots of british people who are sick to death of the paki muslims.they take our culture over and people like you fucking support them you traitor fuck to pakistan with them.”

“”Great british culture……of great britan?????? …..Great britan which is soo great and sized no more than Island????? Wow so great……”if you dont like it motherfucker piss off back to your own country! an dont say i was born here somewhere down the line you where born in some scum country, because abdul is no english name - i agree these people need to go - BNP BNP BNP!! its simple if there are none in this country - they cannot create the havock theyre so great at doing! The majority of people hate you - but due to laws wont say - your hated! with a passion!”

“why the fuck should us british people work for a living and pay taxes to keep the paki bastards in benefits so they can ship more paki twats over here to take over everything this country has ever stood for, hitler had the right idea, winston churchill would be turning in his grave now knowing that they are taking over britain, robbing us of everything british, then the cheeky fuckers have the cheek to walk around in there grannys best curtains and wont remove there viels, this is our country not theres, i wish they would all paki up there belongings and fuck off back to where they come from, if they want to be terrorists then fuck off and do it somewhere else and leave our belovered britian alone. im fucked off with working a 50hr week just to support them in there quest to turn britain into iraq, just cos we are a hard working country with nice things that they aint got cos they have bombed the fuck out of there own country, what gives them the right to say there scared of going back to there own place of birth saying they will be shot or tortured, bollocks i say….We are english normal people who care about everyone and everything in britain, not the scum that wants to terrorise us tho, they can all fuck off and die for all i care….There aint no black or brown in the unionjack and the sooner the uk wakes up to the fact they are taking over and does something about it the better.If we dont do something about it now then we wont have anything else left that we can call our own, there taking white mens job, money, shops, houses, should i carry on. i think i have put my piont accross, you get the picture…ACT NOW BEFORE ITS TO LATE.RP. UK BORN N BRED”

“when you say kill all pakis do you mean muslims or hindus, beacause hindus are not pakis, pakis are people who come from pakistain and pray to that fucking shit allah or something”

“maning was right you pakis will never live with us so why dont you go home but u are to scared to cos they hate you to as you ar not pakis you ar outsiders he he jusy scum and white haters u will not win”

” pakis should all drop fukin dead n since we cant kill em says the law vote bnp see if they make it soo we can get rid of the smelly bastards n any man who killed a paki dont need jail they r fukin hero’s pakis dont belong ere neva have n neva will n if any paki see this then listen carfully fuk off bk n if u was born ere fuk off still ya paki scum !!!!! who the fuk do they fink they r if police go near em they get done weres the law ?? in that”

“I’m affraid that all the comments should go on like a law, like the chinesse in killing ten flies a day but instead of flies they should be paki’s and any other who thinks the white race is scum. All over other countries there’s like a sign saying come to britian and kill whites. i think all of this should stop and send the bastards back where they fucking come from. But the real problem is that people who serve for britain’s army, e.g. the Gurkas and sikhs should be allowed in to britain.I think a year ago i got beaten up by 3 paki’s the ages of 26, 21, 16.They used weapons on me like battons they are animals i had to go into hospital that night, the one thing is that when i went to get my x-rays done the Australians that did it cared and every white person there looked after me.In the end the 3 that did it got away with the crime they did to me assult and using weapons to cause bodily harm to others.I think every fucking paki should be shot, like what the Nazi’s did to the jews but this time it will be paki’s. When i’m older i will fight for the better of the English country and Queen i will kill as many of them as possible in this country and the middle east.For Queen and country.”

“KILL EVERY PAKI AND POLISH PERSON. THEY ARE LIKE AIDS. JOIN ME IN A SKIN HEAD ATTACK ON EVERY PAKI IN THE COUNTRY!!”

“bnp all the way n fukin kill all the paki bastards we need to fight back there takin ova man they bomb us we should bomb them they dont fukin belong ere FUK OFF U PAKI BASTARDS WE DONT WANT U ERE vote bnp !!!!!!!!!”

“why are asian women more hairy than the men?”

“FUCK ALL YOU PAKI SHITS!! ALL WE EVER GET IS SHIT, I HAVE HAD IT. SCOTTISH LASHBACK!! I DONT GIVE A FUCK ABOUT ANY OTHER RACE, BLACK WHITE CHINESE JAPANESE WHATEVER - I DONT HATE PEOPLE FOR THE COLOUR OF THEIR SKIN, I HATE PEOPLE FOR THEIR FUCKED UP TWISTED MINDS - THATS ALL WE EVER FUCKING GET FROM YOU MUSLIMS - FUCK YOU ALL”

“we call you pakis because were lazy which our countrys like so if you work for 5 pound a day good luck to but remember to save up and fuck off back you fucking smelly coward bombers”

“if we all kill one a day , problem solved.”

“hello to all those jeehad fuckers that come into greatbritian and try and cause havoc, well sorry but we dont lie dont to fucking wankers like you, nor do the people of scotland were you tried and failed lol ,a would a let the black fucer burn, av got one thing to say to they fuckers get to fuck back to your own country”

“to be honest i dont think we should kill all the pakis but instead we should send them back to where they came from so they can practise their own religion and enjoy the culture of their own country which probably includes eating shit for breakfast, luch and tea and human sacrifices. because they fail to understand britain is a christian country and think they can impose their own religion on society and play the race card to get away with murder (literally) they are the source of growing hatred among hard working people.SEND THEM BACK AND SEE HOW THEY LIKE LIFE IN PAKISTAN THEN MAYBE THEY WILL APRETIATE LIFE IN BRITAIN MORE”

That is just the Blogger comment set for July 2007. I deleted a lot more than that from my Wordpress admin panel.

When that Uncle Tom coconut scumbag “Reverend” Nazir Ali lies about no go areas, does he mean Iraq? Because there are no Muslim no-go areas in Britain. Unless you mean areas in which Muslims dare not go. It’s not as bad as it used to be, but the situation is the exact opposite of the one Ali so provocatively speaks of.

It might be a good idea if he took his Christian buddies to some London estates, where teenage gangs of all colours, but of no preferred religious affiliation, run rampant, high on drugs and alcohol and with the run of the land. Areas where nobody goes, of any religion, except those gangs, unless they want to get knifed.

Knifed like the Asian Muslim boy killed by a distinctly non-Asian, non-brown person just the other day.

Nazi(r) Ali might also want to check out the comments I have to delete on a daily basis that are the tip of the iceberg of hatred towards Muslims and brown ones in particular. He is part of the machinery that stokes up Islamophobia around the world and is therefore just a tool of oppression. Or perhaps more accurately, he is just a tool.

You really, really want to read this stunning response to some deplorable and mendacious shenanigans by the BBC from the quite brilliant J7 Truth team.

My hats off to them for their patience, diligence and tenacity.

What has happened to our country that the BBC gets completely outdone by a small band of brilliant and dedicated volunteers, working in their own time, with no funding and whose only motives are truth and justice for the British people?

I’d say we aren’t getting value for money. I’d say sack the fuckers and put the J7 team in charge of our media instead.

I have been trying to return my phone to T-Mobile for some time. It’s one of those MDA Vario II things with the slidey-outy-keyboard. Since last January, it’s made it possible for me to type out SMS without having to discard my quarter-century worth of typing experience in favour of a stupid teenager-oriented system. It also makes multi-part SMS and email a whole lot easier.

I’m not writing a commercial for this expensive toy, I’m writing about why I can’t return it. It has faults. The phone is awful. I fail to get signal in Oxford Circus and Bond Street. Can you imagine my facial expression right now? Ugly, isn’t it?

I can’t get 3G signal, or any kind of data connection sitting still in Grosvenor Square. You might ask why a Suspect Paki would be doing trying to get a 3G signal near the American Embassy. I was actually trying to work out the quickest walking route to the nearest mosque (the one in Mayfair) using Google Maps Mobile Edition. (I’m not really making this sound less incriminating, am I?)

The scroll-wheel jumps in the opposite direction randomly, intermittently and in varying amounts, which makes it about as useful as a heart surgeon with delirium tremens. The vibration feature sometimes takes a holiday without letting the boss know (I’m the boss) - and the latest joy, the keyboard doesn’t always listen to me, which is really rather insulting. I can understand why people don’t listen to me, but when devices play dumb (hold on…they are dumb) I get really cross.

These problems have been mounting and recently finally came to a head today, when I bit the bullet and decided to call the OTT cheery-by-script people at T-Mobile, who practically insist on calling you by your first name, even when they can’t pronounce it.

Having done absolutely nothing other than verify my number (it’s the one I’m calling from, the one you see on your screen, the one with the account allocated against it active for 14 years, shit-for-brains), they finally take two minutes to say goodbye, wishing you a wonderful life, a Happy New Year, a successful marriage and bon voyage. Just hang up the bloody phone already!

So I want to return the device.

Only I can’t. I made the rather dumb decision of insisting on synchronisation of my Windows Pocket PC phone with my Mac. Apple say it’s possible, pointing me to Mark/Space who sold me the software to do it. Only, it doesn’t sync everything. Most importantly, it doesn’t sync my SMS messages.

At this point, people around the world are losing their connection with me and falling asleep through a complete lack of empathy. That’s because most people don’t keep their texts. Not the way I do any way. You might be wondering why I don’t save the important ones to my SIM card? I do, but with around 6000+ of them, a lot of them multi-part, I run out of SIM space rather quickly.

6000+ text messages. Why? Well I love to keep all the texts my eldest sends. There are thousands. Even her missed call texts I keep. My kids are my life. Older readers know what I’m talking about. Let’s leave it at that for now.

Mark/Space promised that their Missing Sync software would do the job for me with version 4. I upgraded and paid them what they wanted for the second time

It didn’t work. I tried maybe half a dozen or more beta versions of their software after upgrading to version 4, simply for this single feature. I wasted my money and my time. It has never worked and I doubt it will ever work. I finally ran out of patience. Many ran out of patience far sooner than me.

If you have a Mac, please do yourself a favour and avoid using a Windows Pocket PC or Smartphone device if you’re going to let the Missing Sync software anywhere near it. It freezes a lot, can’t be bothered to sync half the time and most annoyingly, doesn’t do SMS properly. When it works, it does a good job of the contacts, address book, diary and other such simple stuff. It pretended to to music and photo, but never was reliable enough or flexible enough.

Having finally lost my patience, I also lost my integrity. I sold myself to the dark side. Opening a quarantined browser window, just in case, the hunt for PC backup software began. (Cue Psycho violin stabs)

I came across Sprite Backup and for once, the demo version of some seemingly useful software appeared not to be crippled. I read everything I could on it and even dropped the guys at Sprite an email. (They had been attempting to steer my down a web-based contact form, which employed a pet hate of mine - the insistence on user account creation before you are allowed to even contact them. There is nothing about this crime in shari`ah, but I would propose the same punishment as for theft.)

I took the chance and made a couple of backups. It appeared to make a full backup of the phone’s memory. The next step was to restore. This seemed to freeze half way through. I panicked because my phone was now empty, everything had gone and I was already imagining the type of swearing I would employ in my email to Sprite. I calmed down and realised that it hadn’t crashed, it was just taking its sweet time.

On the third attempt (I cancelled the first two), I let it continue. Three hours later, there was a perfectly restored phone.

Tomorrow, my phone goes back to T-Mobile. Thanks to the people at Sprite in New Zealand, I will be able to get my phone fixed, safe in the knowledge that on the replacement, I will still have the messages my beloved daughters sent me.