London

I admit it. I left one cult to join another. That’s right, much to the displeasure of one particular friend, who hates Apple like Dawkins hates religion, I love all things Mac and most things Apple.

Today is the closest Macophiles get to Christmas in our cult. Steve Jobs delivers a keynote speech (more popularly known as the “stevenote“) at 10am PST, today, the first day of the WWDC - a developers’ event in which Jobs typically announces several products, including at least one magical new product which Macophiles know as “One More Thing”.

We speculate, but we just don’t know. We think it might be a 3G iPhone with more memory, GPS and location aware software, delivered to Regent Street in padlocked-until-Monday boxes, but we really have no idea.

What I know is this: Whatever I hear in the stevenote, I will probably want it with an intensity of desire that isn’t matched by that for any other product. It is marketing genius and doesn’t happen by accident.

You mightn’t be aware of the excitement these events generate. Hundreds of thousands of people, possibly millions, conspire to bring down Twitter and other services that struggle to deliver blow-by-blow accounts from the hall in which Jobs delivers his stevenote. Queues form outside Apple stores days before the event. Speculation reaches fever pitch. It’s amazing.

This kind of fervour isn’t reserved for WWDC either. In a show of commitment that makes queues for new game consoles look no more impressive than the disgruntled throng of teenagers outside an Indian “two schoolchildren at a time” corner shop, I was staggered recently to see a queue that encircled the entire block outside the Apple Store in Regent Street for the release of Apple’s OS X Leopard release. It was the longest London queue I’d ever seen. The only time I’d seen more people stand in line for the same thing was when over a million of us walked through London against the war in Iraq that the Crusader Blair had already committed to going into on behalf of his master George Bush.

It is one of life’s continuing ironies that the country that shoots up copies of the Qur’an, gangrapes Muslim girls whilst torching their families and defends apartheid whilst shouting “democracy” Orwell-style can also inspire such love and passion. That’s empire for you.

Go Steve! You know your customers. And you know that practically anything you announce tonight, I will crave beyond reason.

I’m not sure if there’s something in the air or not, but after J7’s bold refusal of the Bullshit Broadcasting Corporation’s invitation to appear on the Conspiracy Files, the team behind the excellent Ludicrous Diversion are at it now.

This is all good stuff. I’m hoping that this marks the start of a trend where prominent writers, thinkers, bloggers and YouTubers start telling the Mainstream Media where to stick it.

Standards all round are definitely falling and barring some notable exceptions like Darshna Soni, and the quite amazing John Pilger, most modern journalists are shit.

I recently suffered some trauma to the reasoning centres in my brain after an episode of Channel 4’s execrable Dispatches. Now this is going to blow your mind, but I’m going to do something I never thought I’d do. I’m going to take the side of the supermarkets chains. Why?

You only had to watch how miserable the science was when the equally miserable Jane Moore pitifully tried to skewer some truly gullible families? into believing that they were eating crap and being lied to.

Sure, some of the calore and fat content was out by more than the tolerance level, but much of this was on minute quantities to which the stupid families offered the expected, uninformed soundbites, but Moore repeatedly failed to explain the very important fact that not all fats are equally damaging. You have polyunsaturated fatty acids, monounsaturated fatty acids and saturated fatty acids. These are normally abbreviated to “fats” instead of “fatty acids”

She also failed to explain the difference between fruit sugar (fructose) and table sugar (sucrose) which both act very differently. The former has a lower glycaemic index and is therefore more easily tolerated by the body.

Then she got a bunch of primary school children to pour some cereal in a rather bizarre experiment to determine a realistic portion size. Don’t parents pour cereal for their kids? I mean, if you’re dumbfuck enough to hand over a full box of sugar-coated Frosties to your 8-year old (probably the most lethal cereal on the face of the earth, provoking an insulin response that could kill an elephant) then you’re gonna get cereal on the table, on the floor and in the kid’s bloodstream! What kind of science was this?

Sure there’s acid in fruit juice. It’s called citric acid you dunderhead. And it only rots your teeth if you drink it all day long and never brush or drink anything else! If you’re stupid enough to stick it in a baby’s beaker, well, you’ll be glad that babies have milk teeth to practice on.

She resorted to a Gillian (shrill, sadistic, shrew fraud) McKeith style pile of fat, sugar and salt for varying size families (errrrrr duh!!!)? at the end of the experiment. I mean how stupid are these people? If you saved all your pocket change for a year you’d get a mountain of money. If you saved your newspapers for a year they’d be taller than a block of flats. If you collected your shit for a month it would look like a life-sized-model of George Bush. That’s why you don’t eat it all at once you stupid fuck!

I have rarely watched a programme that masqueraded as an expose and had to shout abuse at its poor science as I did for “The Truth About Your Food”. I actually felt sorry for the supermarkets. It’s not their job to put traffic lights on labels, it’s their job to make money. If the government gives a shit about health, it will enforce regulations that make sense for the consumer, but we all know the government only likes to take part in the game of consumer-buggery. Sometimes I actually yearn for the EU to step in and slap the Sainsbury-nobbing fucks in parliament.

If you’re really bothered about what you eat, bloody well make it yourself! That’s what we used to fucking well do!

In every area of importance, in every sphere of life that matters to ordinary people - and to extraordinary people - on any topic that matters to you, it would be unwise to trust the mainstream media. It doesn’t just stop there though. If you see a blogger start writing for a newspaper, it might be prudent to investigate their motive.

You really, really want to read this stunning response to some deplorable and mendacious shenanigans by the BBC from the quite brilliant J7 Truth team.

My hats off to them for their patience, diligence and tenacity.

What has happened to our country that the BBC gets completely outdone by a small band of brilliant and dedicated volunteers, working in their own time, with no funding and whose only motives are truth and justice for the British people?

I’d say we aren’t getting value for money. I’d say sack the fuckers and put the J7 team in charge of our media instead.

This is another recent photo - right across the road from me - interesting how just about every sunset nowadays looks portentous. (This photo can be clicked on so you can see it at higher res)?

I do like that 50mm lens!

Taken from my office window in the West End, this one is of course Photoshopped. It was taken on a camera that is rubbish in low light - and to my shame - the battery ran out before the sky became totally stunning.Notes to self….

• Carry proper camera
• Buy a tripod - carry that too
• Get on the roof and forget trying to get a decent picture through a double-glazed window!
• Probably best not to get on the roof in the West End with one of these babies…